An Abundance of Oddness

“I was just minding my jazz when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this werm walks in and I could just tell… His left eye was on his right side and his right eye was on the left. Creepy.”
-Barence Thrice-Plumbed

Of course we dearly love our Mutha Oith, but admittedly she’s a bit off. There’s a sort of general wonkiness. It’s tough to put a finger on, at least in public, but things sometimes just aren’t right. Perhaps it’s due to the eons of punishment the planet has endured; the residual cosmic, nukular, and elsewherical influences visited upon her during the Time of the Flush. Maybe Fundamental powers, gawdly prerogatives, and the eldritch leachings of hocus pokery, contanimation, and similar arts have taken their toll. Possibly she’s just old and tired and doesn’t give a goose anymore. Perhaps all those things are true. Whatever the cause, the manifestations are readily evident to anyone with the mind to ponder such things.

Stuff that should have rotted away or crumbled to dust eons ago, relics of the Hoomanrace for example, still linger. Objects that should be small, like tube socks and lunch boxes, are occasionally enormous instead. Conversely, regularly gigantic things, like mountains and your momma’s butt, are sometimes tiny (or maybe they’re just really far away). Size isn’t the only thing affected in such a manner. A petrified cookie recently unoithed in the ruins of Yew Nork was no bigger than a goozera’s gizzard, yet it mysteriously took a team of six slogs to lift it. Just about everything in Glowhio glows (hence the name). That’s certainly not natural. There are places that’ll make your skin turn blue just by walking through them (no word on what color it turns if it’s already blue), rocks that stick to metal, hot ice, cold lava, wet sand, and dry water. Up is, from time to time, down. Down has been known to be up. Wonkiness…

Usually these odd distortions are limited to certain locations or particularly ancient stuff, jazz that was around before the Rise of the Lowly, but a peep might sporadically happen upon something modern that’s similarly affected, perhaps a pair of pants that inexplicably no longer fit even though you did three sit-ups last week or a ginormous oily boid hatching from a regular sized egg. Such occurrences are often thought to be portentous by peeps sensitive to that sort of thing.

An Abundance of Oddness

Hebrew Low Life Guyka Guyka